The Talking Cure

I recently learned what Freud terms "The Talking Cure." In essence, we can solve our own problems by talking things out. So, having a listening ear is sometimes the best remedy, even when that listener doesn't say a word or give one smidgen of advice.

Here at BYU I am a Freshman Mentoring Peer Mentor--the fancy word for an upper-classman friend for incoming students. My supervisor is the one who told me about the "talking cure." We meet with incoming students and are a resource for them to help them succeed their first year. This past week I've met with about a dozen new freshman who, just like me, came to BYU last week. But unlike for them, it's a review for me and not a revelation.

Sometimes, as they talk things out, they come to their own conclusions. And others ask me for advice with things like feeling socially incompetent, managing a busy schedule, etc. Really, their concerns are exactly my concerns. And as I try to help them, I help myself.

God knows the talking cure works. So he has blessed me with the opportunity to tell people what I actually need to remember.

He's let me do this a couple times this week, outside of working with freshmen.
On the indoor track yesterday, I was dying. I wanted to run 3 miles but mile three hit and I was thinking of lowering my original goal and calling it a day. Then, out of the blue, a young man starts running just behind me in the lane next to me. I see the army coach tell him, "7 more laps. You're at 7:15." The boy next to me was slowing down. He was gasping. Understanding his pain I said, "You're doing great! You can do it!" He said, "I have to run 2 miles in 13 minutes to get 100." We started chatting. He said, "I'm using you as a running buddy, I hope you don't mind." Don't mind? I am the one who needed a running buddy to push me.

He had one lap to go and the coach yelled at him "11:16."

Me: You can get it in 13 flat!
Boy: No, I'm dying!
Me: a whole lap of all the motivational things I could think of....."There's plenty of time to feel good after this....you can run faster than you think!....You can do it!" all things that I needed to hear)

He sprints to the finish line, then collapses.

Me: Way to go! What's your name?
Boy: Jordan. Thanks so much, I got 13 flat. :)

AND THEN, I was chatting on facebook with a girl in Paraguay. She's worried about the future and doesn't know how she's going to make some of the upcoming decisions she has to make.

I tell her, "Work instead of worry, faith instead of fear." I tell her all the things that have helped me in times like that. In times like this, actually.

And I don't know who benefited more from that---her or me.

I just had to talk things out. I already know how I should think, what I should do. Most of the time. I know what's true.

I just forget. 

But God reminded me.

 He placed listening ears in my path, disguised as people who need help.   I'm so thankful that the same ultimate Psychiatrist, Counselor, and Adviser is also my personal loving Heavenly Father. Which reminds me of one of my favorite songs by Cherie Call (the pictures don't really match up with the words, but the words are great!).

Ransom Captive Israel

Yesterday I drove 45 minutes to a different ward to speak in their Sacrament Meeting. It was a beautiful, cold Sunday morning. I played a new Vocal Point Christmas music video on my phone. (Rest assured, I was driving and was obviously just listening, not watching or being distracted by their handsome bundled-up faces.)



The first line caused a gush of gratitude for the Savior. I felt the Spirit from my head down to my foot on the gas pedal.  "O Come, O Come Emmanuel. And ransom captive Israel."

What a perfect line! We, as a people, are Israel. And we are captive because of sin. Yet the ransom has been paid! We can be free from the captivity of our sins.

I thought of my new friend Nicholas. Earlier this year he was a  blonde-ponytailed, hippie-type young man who tended to smoke, drink, and do drugs and roller blade all around Sedona.  The sister missionaries contacted him on the street. I met him when he was investigating the church when I got home from my mission in October. And yesterday, I was driving to the chapel where I would see him be confirmed after being baptized on Saturday. Watching this amazing young man has brought all who know him so much happiness. He is now clean-cut and converted. He is more active than the average member. He went to a mission prep class the same day he became a member. And he says he's never been as happy as he has been as he's lived the gospel of Jesus Christ. He says he knows he is doing the right thing. "A step in the light is right," is one of his personal statements. And oh what a step into the light he has made.

Nicholas accepted the ransom that Jesus Christ has paid.

 I thought of what I learned about the Light of Christ on my mission (I've been thinking about light a lot lately). I wrote once, "Truly.... every good thing, all light, all life, everything uplifting and ennobling and joyful and beautiful and all influence for good comes because of Jesus Christ. There is no joy without the Light of Christ (Alma 28:14). I think of all the happy moments I`ve experienced--the list could go on with cherished memories from playing in the treehouse with Hope to the day I got my mission call, from fun FHE`s and Sunday walks to the joy of a good cross country race to the beauty of a sunrise on an African safari or the sunset on the Holy City from my Jerusalem balcony--and I realize that every little detail is in my life because of the Savior. "I am the light and the life of the world" has a whole new meaning for me.....I am so thankful for every happy moment our dear Savior has allowed me to enjoy. And I am so thankful to be aware of the many happy moments that are being created through missionary work all across the face of the earth. "

 "The light of Christ will lead the honest soul who 'hearkeneth to the voice' to find the true gospel and the true Church and thereby receive the Holy Ghost." (Bible Dictionary) And that is exactly what happened to Nicholas.  Mis felicidades mas profundas, amigo. :)

The world is chock-full of the light of Christ, whether we realize it or not. It is leading the honest in heart to take the steps necessary to become un-captivated, thanks to the Ransom paid.

That's How the Light Gets In

And in despair, I bowed my head. "There is no peace on earth," I said. "For hate is strong and mocks the song of peace on earth, good will towards men."

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep: "God is not dead, nor doth he sleep; The wrong shall fail, the right prevail, with peace on earth, good will to men."

I remember singing this song one Sunday in a mental hospital in Provo where my ward went as a service to the people there. The Spirit surged through me. The Spirit and hope of Christmastime filled me up.

Through a combination of events and encounters, I was recently made more aware of the state of the world and just how enticing and powerful and influential Satan is in it. It sounds pessimistic, I know. Maybe it's because I'm having to speak of other things besides the gospel all day. Maybe it's because I have been reading/listening to The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis that is all about how the Devil tempts us, and I've seen how true those tricks are and how well they work on me and those I know. Maybe its from seeing the news (most of which is sad news) on the TV as I run on the treadmill at Snap Fitness. Maybe it's from catching up with old friends and seeing how some of them have fallen away from the path they know to be right. Maybe it's from seeing good, strong, amazing members of the church give in and settle for a lower standard of excellence. Whatever the combination is, I found myself melancholy and overwhelmed with the sheer darkness of the world. Much like Henry Wadsworth Longfellow who wrote the above Christmas carol, I thought to myself, "For hate is strong and mocks the song of peace on earth, good will to men."

But, God is not dead nor doth He sleep. So, that moment of sadness was but a short one. I know that the light of Christ is thousands of watts more brilliant than the the musty haze of the adversary that fogs our vision for a time.

I recently listened to a BYU devotional in which Tyler Jarvis talks about how paralyzing our desire for perfection can be. He quotes Leonard Cohen’s song “Anthem.”

Ring the bells that still can ring 

Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in.

That's just it. It seems that there IS a crack in everything. There is evil where we least expect it. There is unwanted weakness in ourselves. 

However, thanks to the Light of the World, that darkness can be penetrated-through and eliminated.  

Our bells are cracked. Yes, as sincere as our desires are to be perfect bells, we are all a little cracked. As much as we all want "world peace," that dream is a little cracked, too. 

But how THANKFUL I am for those cracks! Yes, how thankful I am for the cracks in the world, for the weaknesses, trials, and even the failures. For without the moments of darkness, would we recognize the light? Would we turn to Him? 

The bells that were heard on Christmas day might have had cracks in them, too. But they were ringing because the atonement of Christ makes each of us able to function even though we're imperfect. His light makes this cracked world a world of HOPE. 

"But let us ring those bells that still can ring. Stop worrying about your failure to achieve perfection. Instead, embrace the light and healing power of Christ that come in through our cracks and imperfections." Tyler Jarvis

Guilt-less Chocolate Treats

I came home to a practically Joel-Furhman-approved kitchen. His name is almost sure to come up at our house if we start talking food, so let me tell you that this guy has taught us all to avoid meat, to eat more plant-based foods than animal-based foods, and to avoid refined sugar and white flour almost completely. I'm not at all strict with it (I am secretly super happy when someone gives me desserts and I feel like I have to eat it to be polite) but in general I'm loving having so many healthy things available. Waking up to a green smoothie every single day (aka salad in a glass for those unfamiliar with putting spinach in your blender) is quite the switch from my limited diet in Paraguay where the healthiest things I ate were bananas and mangos. I'm so thankful my mom has helped all of us eat like this. However, we still find ourselves hankering for something sweet and substantial, so I must share my latest gluten-free, sugar-free chocolate findings. They are delicious, actually. You'll never believe there's no sugar in them. As Christmas comes along and you want to concoct up something delicious but not feel guilty, try these out:

Honey PB No-Bake Chocolate Cookies by Rita Bigham (an awesome lady in our ward who has some excellent cookbooks!)

1/2 cup honey
1/4 cup butter
3 tablespoons cocoa
2/3 cup natural peanut butter
2 cups quick oats
2 t vanilla

Boil honey and butter for 1 minute. Stir in cocoa, peanut  butter, oats, and vanilla. Spoon mixture onto waxed paper and divide into 24 mounds.


Cocoa-Date Truffles

1 cup walnuts
10-12 medjool dates
1/4 cup honey
1/4 cup cocoa powder

Process in a food processor until smooth. You can add coconut flakes, vanilla, sunflower seeds, almonds, raisins, etc. Form into truffle-size balls and enjoy.  If you know anyone who only eats raw food, this is perfect for them, too!

103 Things I'm Grateful For

It's 10:30 p.m. It's my goal to go to bed at this time. But I don't feel like it. And I don't have to, because I'm not a missionary anymore. So, I figured I'd ramble on my blog and put my feelings out there for all the world and my future posterity.

Tomorrow I'm speaking on gratitude in two different congregations, in two different languages (in the young single adult branch and the Spanish branch). I've been working on my talk during every spare moment of the day.

MAN. I am so grateful. If I had to sum up my feelings about life right now it would be, "Wow. I have so much to be grateful for. I'm confused about life and what I should do and what's going to happen in my future, but I'm so grateful for how life's going anyway."

A year ago, I was in Piribebuy, Paraguay. I was training a brand new sister missionary from Peru. She, nor any of Paraguay, knew what Thanksgiving is. I had to recognize it and celebrate it on my own. It was a scorching hot time of year. But at least I managed to make mashed potatoes that day. I also remember working on a project during all my spare time (hahaha! There IS no spare time on your mission), it was called la Lista de Bendiciones.

This is a picture of the original list that I still have. 103 things that I was grateful for last year. I would have written more if I had found more time. 

Here are a few of the things I wrote: 

• I'm a missionary!
• I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ!
• I was baptized when I was 8 by my dad!
• I understand the purpose of life.
• I wasn't born during the apostasy. 
• I am female.
• I was homeschooled.
• I wasn't raised watching TV.
• My mom taught me to cook, sew, save money, work hard.
• My grandparents, parents, and brother served missions.
• Hope is going on a mission!
• Carrie (my sister) got married in the temple.
• I have great friends who write me letters.
• I have great zone leaders.
• I went to JERUSALEM!
• I got admitted to BYU!
• I have had great bishops.
• I have always been able to run.
• I dated wonderful, inspiring boys.
• I didn't get kidnapped, robbed, or killed in Africa.
• Dad built me a milk parlor.
• I had the cutest goats.
• I can read.
• I know English.
• I haven't missed an hour of missionary work due to sickness.
• I have contacts. Changed the world.
• My whole family is supportive of me serving a mission.
• My family doesn't eat junk food.
• I have been protected from many a near-death experience.
• I have great memories of dad with ice cream.
• Mom did cool science experiments with us. 
• I have not gotten dengue despite hundreds of mosquito bites. 
• Churches in the U.S. have air conditioning. 
• I have never had to bear seeing my dad or brothers drunk.
• I have never worried my parents would divorce.
• I have never been addicted to anything harmful.
• I got to be companions with Hermana Greer twice.
• I grew up in an ambitious society. 

And the list goes on. But really, tonight as I stay up "late" there are plenty of things I could complain about. But there are about 45 times as many things that I can be grateful for. And the thing I'm grateful for most of all....

the thing that tops the many good experiences and comforts and tender mercies and close calls...

the blessing I want to thank God for more than anything tonight....

is my knowledge of the restored gospel. I wish I could be more funny or witty or entertaining or new.....but it's the truth. Tonight I'm overwhelmed with gratitude that I understand life, that I know how to find peace, that I can be hopeful about the future no matter what..... thanks to the sweet knowledge of Jesus Christ and His gospel that has been restored to it's fullness. Oh I know it's true. It's the reason why I am still grateful for the way life is, as uncertain as the future may be. It's the mother of so many of the other blessings I wrote down last year, and to so many of the blessings I will be adding to that very un-uncomplete list of 103 things. 

Mi mas profunda gratitud es hacia mi Salvador.



P.S. Apparently I was feeling very similar exactly two years ago this very same day. Click here for a Thanksgiving video and blog post. And here to see how my gratitude list sure changed from the one I made during my mission. 

Mis Padres

In this month of an extra-grateful heart, one of the blessings that is mother to many other blessings on my Gratitude List is my parents. I know I always talk about my parents on this blog, but I can't help but do it again. Perhaps it's because I think more now about being a parent than I ever have before, perhaps it's because I'm a nanny right now and I have internalized the magnitude of what it takes to be a mom and maintain a house, perhaps it's because I just missed them so much.....but whatever it is, my parents seem better than ever before. 

This past weekend my dad and I went to Mesa, just the two of us. My dad wears a couple very heavy hats. He's not only the bishop of our ward and constantly helping solve problems and serve and help members of the church and non-members alike, but he's the city attorney and solves and helps even more in that regard. But he took time and patiently went shopping with me. He got nothing and did nothing for himself the entire trip. It was all for me and my family. We got to go to the temple together. I'm so thankful to have a dad I can go to the temple with. 

As I said, I'm a nanny for two kids, and I've first-hand seen how much work goes into maintaining a home. It's not like I didn't do chores before, but now I just see how many chores it takes, and I realize how much my mom has done. So many loads of laundry and loads of dishes. So much picking up. So much soothing of kids' heartaches. And yet, as I go about it, I feel the grand importance of it. Perhaps the world will never feel the influence of that extra loading and un-loading of the dishwasher, but for some reason I just feel like it is one of the most important things a person can do: maintain a home and devote their time to the raising and teaching of children. For me, what my parents have done and do means the world. 

I think, "What if I had parents who didn't understand the importance of what they do?" Thankfully, my mom and dad have their priorities more straight than anyone I know. 

 Seeing them again, along with the rest of my family, was really the only perk of finishing my mission. 

 They took me on a wonderful church history trip the week after I came home. This is us between the Sacred Grove and the Palmyra temple. 

In the beautiful fall foliage outside the Johnson Farmhouse.

“Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” 
― Marcel Proust

You know you're an RM when...

It's been a month since my last letter from the mission field. And oh the things that have changed. Everyone asks, "how are you adjusting?" Well, let me explain some of the adjustments. You know you're a recently-returned missionary from Paraguay when:

-You always forget to wear your seat belt. With such organized driving, who needs a seat belt?
-At 10:30 pm you feel like you should go to bed, but you don't feel tired because you didn't walk 10 miles and go up and down the whole roller coaster of emotions.
-You cringe a little when guys come up to hug you. Toooo close.
-You're not sure how to greet women. We don't give kisses on both cheeks here? Do you hug? Handshake?
-You look for your flip flops before showering before realizing you really can shower barefoot.
-You wake up on Friday morning thinking, "Today's weekly planning day." and on Monday thinking, "Sweet! Today's p-day!"
-Every new technology is a miracle. Blue tooth? GPS on your phone?
-You don't recognize your girl friends on facebook because their last names have changed. All of a sudden baby announcements fill the news feed instead of wedding announcements.
-The fridge is CRAZY full! We have so much food in the house!
-You really do just want to wear a skirt.
-You get crazy happy when you find someone who speaks Spanish.
-You say "hola" to everyone.
-Going places by yourself is just....lonely.
-You ring-check every attractive man because, well....now you're finally available. Oh the confessions of an RM.

But one of the hardest things about being off the mission is the uncertainty of the future. For the past couple of years my near future was so planned. I didn't have to make any life-altering decisions. My companions were assigned to me, my area was given me...all I had to do was work hard and receive revelation in order to help other people. It's like I've been cast out of the garden of Eden, where everything was easier and joyous and less scary. My next area is not assigned to me, personal study time is not so easily found, daily and weekly goals are not so clear, and most unfortunate is that I can't just go to the mission office and pick up my next great companion.