Symbol of the High Life: The PBJ

This post is written while fueled by:

This is my typical lunch (or breakfast, or dinner) Monday-Friday. A PBJ pulled out of my backpack and eaten while walking across campus between class and work. Sometimes my PBJ is replaced with a PBBH (peanut butter banana honey) or a SAT (spinach, avocado, tomato).

While eating it and rushing around--sometimes even answering an email on my phone to add to my multi-tasking of eating and walking--it often hits me of just what those circumstances mean. Holy cow, think about it!
-I am enrolled in a great university, and so busy with learning and making money and meeting amazing people that I don't have time to be at home and cook (nor time in the morning to prepare a lunch of more variety because the good life starts early and I get to go running and read my scriptures before I walk to campus at 7:30).
-I have enough money for whole wheat bread, peanut butter, honey, and even a zip lock bag. And we even have zip loc bags in this country.
-I have friends who take me with them to go grocery shopping. So I am able to get that grocery store goodness into my very own apartment without having to carry it by hand. 
-I am healthy enough to walk around campus and go, go, go.

Peanut butter sandwiches have always been a symbol of prosperity for me. I wrote about it four years ago on my first little blog,

 "As I sit in a comfortable office chair in air conditioned comfort surrounded by kind people and a tree covered in blossoms outside the window, I can't help but be overwhelmed with gratitude and think about the billions of people who are uncomfortable right now, those without chairs and computers and good views and peanut butter sandwiches for lunch."

If you ever want to have a deep conversation with me, bring up peanut butter sandwiches. I've personally amazed myself with how much I have to say about them.  It goes so much further than just the crunchy vs creamy debate (which in and of itself can be deep). 

Never, ever, complain when eating your 7th PBJ in a week. You're living the high life. 

Friends don't let Friends Just Be

I read an article this week about the growth mindset versus the fixed mindset. The learners versus the non-learners.

 A learner, someone with a growth mindset, is not ashamed to make a mistake. They are not ashamed to raise their hand in class and ask a question, even if the question may be silly. They are not ashamed to be vulnerable. They are not ashamed to work hard. They are not ashamed to learn from people who are better at something than they are. They love with their whole heart, even when there's no guarantee. They view failure as an opportunity, not a condemnation. When they don't do well in something naturally, they think, "I could sit here in my misery or do something about it." And their disappointment or failure is motivating to them to try harder.

A non-learner, someone with a fixed-mindset, thinks that "smart" people don't make mistakes, that hard work is for dummies, that effort is for those who can't make it on talent. Success to them isn't about being your best self, it's about being better than others. And when they're not better than others in it, they quit and go back to doing something that comes easily to them.

As a society, we sometimes value natural, effortless accomplishment over achievement through hard work. At least Calvin does:

Fixed mindset people seek friends and a spouse who will put them on a pedestal, worship them, and make them feel perfect. 

Growth mindset people seek friends and a spouse who will see their faults, challenge them to become better, and encourage them to try new things. All very lovingly, of course. 

Reflecting on this, I made the resolve to seek after people who will stretch me, and to be that kind of friend myself. I became very thankful for the the people I have in my life who have helped me grow. Every morning this week I went running at 6:30 a.m. with Chris, my new running inspiration I met at a fireside last week. Talk about not letting your new-found friend stay in her comfort zone. Chris has pushed me. 

And this morning, after much persuasion on his part, I went way out of my comfort zone and swam laps at 6 with my friend Jonathan. 

And last week Trent convinced me to go salsa dancing even though I'm terrible at it and I said no at first. And of course, it was a blast.

And last night Emily got me to go ice skating. And my mom got me to read "Super Immunity" which has made me more super health-conscious. And OH there are more--friends who have invited me to be a better member missionary or act in faith, etc.

All of these people could have just let me be who I was naturally, let me do what my first inclination was. It would have been easier. But there is a better way.  Becoming is better than being, even if we feel vulnerable in the process of becoming and feel like retreating.  

The world needs more people who care. And I want to be one. I want to be one who cares enough to help those around me discover the liberation of leaving behind all meandering in the pool of mediocrity and staying in the stagnant waters of the status quo.  Of course our goal is not to change people--we must love them for who they are. But true friendship will always entail bringing out the best and encouraging the full potential of our friends--even if they balk at first. Becoming is better than being. Friends don't let friends just be. 

The Talking Cure

I recently learned what Freud terms "The Talking Cure." In essence, we can solve our own problems by talking things out. So, having a listening ear is sometimes the best remedy, even when that listener doesn't say a word or give one smidgen of advice.

Here at BYU I am a Freshman Mentoring Peer Mentor--the fancy word for an upper-classman friend for incoming students. My supervisor is the one who told me about the "talking cure." We meet with incoming students and are a resource for them to help them succeed their first year. This past week I've met with about a dozen new freshman who, just like me, came to BYU last week. But unlike for them, it's a review for me and not a revelation.

Sometimes, as they talk things out, they come to their own conclusions. And others ask me for advice with things like feeling socially incompetent, managing a busy schedule, etc. Really, their concerns are exactly my concerns. And as I try to help them, I help myself.

God knows the talking cure works. So he has blessed me with the opportunity to tell people what I actually need to remember.

He's let me do this a couple times this week, outside of working with freshmen.
On the indoor track yesterday, I was dying. I wanted to run 3 miles but mile three hit and I was thinking of lowering my original goal and calling it a day. Then, out of the blue, a young man starts running just behind me in the lane next to me. I see the army coach tell him, "7 more laps. You're at 7:15." The boy next to me was slowing down. He was gasping. Understanding his pain I said, "You're doing great! You can do it!" He said, "I have to run 2 miles in 13 minutes to get 100." We started chatting. He said, "I'm using you as a running buddy, I hope you don't mind." Don't mind? I am the one who needed a running buddy to push me.

He had one lap to go and the coach yelled at him "11:16."

Me: You can get it in 13 flat!
Boy: No, I'm dying!
Me: a whole lap of all the motivational things I could think of....."There's plenty of time to feel good after this....you can run faster than you think!....You can do it!" all things that I needed to hear)

He sprints to the finish line, then collapses.

Me: Way to go! What's your name?
Boy: Jordan. Thanks so much, I got 13 flat. :)

AND THEN, I was chatting on facebook with a girl in Paraguay. She's worried about the future and doesn't know how she's going to make some of the upcoming decisions she has to make.

I tell her, "Work instead of worry, faith instead of fear." I tell her all the things that have helped me in times like that. In times like this, actually.

And I don't know who benefited more from that---her or me.

I just had to talk things out. I already know how I should think, what I should do. Most of the time. I know what's true.

I just forget. 

But God reminded me.

 He placed listening ears in my path, disguised as people who need help.   I'm so thankful that the same ultimate Psychiatrist, Counselor, and Adviser is also my personal loving Heavenly Father. Which reminds me of one of my favorite songs by Cherie Call (the pictures don't really match up with the words, but the words are great!).

Ransom Captive Israel

Yesterday I drove 45 minutes to a different ward to speak in their Sacrament Meeting. It was a beautiful, cold Sunday morning. I played a new Vocal Point Christmas music video on my phone. (Rest assured, I was driving and was obviously just listening, not watching or being distracted by their handsome bundled-up faces.)



The first line caused a gush of gratitude for the Savior. I felt the Spirit from my head down to my foot on the gas pedal.  "O Come, O Come Emmanuel. And ransom captive Israel."

What a perfect line! We, as a people, are Israel. And we are captive because of sin. Yet the ransom has been paid! We can be free from the captivity of our sins.

I thought of my new friend Nicholas. Earlier this year he was a  blonde-ponytailed, hippie-type young man who tended to smoke, drink, and do drugs and roller blade all around Sedona.  The sister missionaries contacted him on the street. I met him when he was investigating the church when I got home from my mission in October. And yesterday, I was driving to the chapel where I would see him be confirmed after being baptized on Saturday. Watching this amazing young man has brought all who know him so much happiness. He is now clean-cut and converted. He is more active than the average member. He went to a mission prep class the same day he became a member. And he says he's never been as happy as he has been as he's lived the gospel of Jesus Christ. He says he knows he is doing the right thing. "A step in the light is right," is one of his personal statements. And oh what a step into the light he has made.

Nicholas accepted the ransom that Jesus Christ has paid.

 I thought of what I learned about the Light of Christ on my mission (I've been thinking about light a lot lately). I wrote once, "Truly.... every good thing, all light, all life, everything uplifting and ennobling and joyful and beautiful and all influence for good comes because of Jesus Christ. There is no joy without the Light of Christ (Alma 28:14). I think of all the happy moments I`ve experienced--the list could go on with cherished memories from playing in the treehouse with Hope to the day I got my mission call, from fun FHE`s and Sunday walks to the joy of a good cross country race to the beauty of a sunrise on an African safari or the sunset on the Holy City from my Jerusalem balcony--and I realize that every little detail is in my life because of the Savior. "I am the light and the life of the world" has a whole new meaning for me.....I am so thankful for every happy moment our dear Savior has allowed me to enjoy. And I am so thankful to be aware of the many happy moments that are being created through missionary work all across the face of the earth. "

 "The light of Christ will lead the honest soul who 'hearkeneth to the voice' to find the true gospel and the true Church and thereby receive the Holy Ghost." (Bible Dictionary) And that is exactly what happened to Nicholas.  Mis felicidades mas profundas, amigo. :)

The world is chock-full of the light of Christ, whether we realize it or not. It is leading the honest in heart to take the steps necessary to become un-captivated, thanks to the Ransom paid.

That's How the Light Gets In

And in despair, I bowed my head. "There is no peace on earth," I said. "For hate is strong and mocks the song of peace on earth, good will towards men."

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep: "God is not dead, nor doth he sleep; The wrong shall fail, the right prevail, with peace on earth, good will to men."

I remember singing this song one Sunday in a mental hospital in Provo where my ward went as a service to the people there. The Spirit surged through me. The Spirit and hope of Christmastime filled me up.

Through a combination of events and encounters, I was recently made more aware of the state of the world and just how enticing and powerful and influential Satan is in it. It sounds pessimistic, I know. Maybe it's because I'm having to speak of other things besides the gospel all day. Maybe it's because I have been reading/listening to The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis that is all about how the Devil tempts us, and I've seen how true those tricks are and how well they work on me and those I know. Maybe its from seeing the news (most of which is sad news) on the TV as I run on the treadmill at Snap Fitness. Maybe it's from catching up with old friends and seeing how some of them have fallen away from the path they know to be right. Maybe it's from seeing good, strong, amazing members of the church give in and settle for a lower standard of excellence. Whatever the combination is, I found myself melancholy and overwhelmed with the sheer darkness of the world. Much like Henry Wadsworth Longfellow who wrote the above Christmas carol, I thought to myself, "For hate is strong and mocks the song of peace on earth, good will to men."

But, God is not dead nor doth He sleep. So, that moment of sadness was but a short one. I know that the light of Christ is thousands of watts more brilliant than the the musty haze of the adversary that fogs our vision for a time.

I recently listened to a BYU devotional in which Tyler Jarvis talks about how paralyzing our desire for perfection can be. He quotes Leonard Cohen’s song “Anthem.”

Ring the bells that still can ring 

Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in.

That's just it. It seems that there IS a crack in everything. There is evil where we least expect it. There is unwanted weakness in ourselves. 

However, thanks to the Light of the World, that darkness can be penetrated-through and eliminated.  

Our bells are cracked. Yes, as sincere as our desires are to be perfect bells, we are all a little cracked. As much as we all want "world peace," that dream is a little cracked, too. 

But how THANKFUL I am for those cracks! Yes, how thankful I am for the cracks in the world, for the weaknesses, trials, and even the failures. For without the moments of darkness, would we recognize the light? Would we turn to Him? 

The bells that were heard on Christmas day might have had cracks in them, too. But they were ringing because the atonement of Christ makes each of us able to function even though we're imperfect. His light makes this cracked world a world of HOPE. 

"But let us ring those bells that still can ring. Stop worrying about your failure to achieve perfection. Instead, embrace the light and healing power of Christ that come in through our cracks and imperfections." Tyler Jarvis

Guilt-less Chocolate Treats

I came home to a practically Joel-Furhman-approved kitchen. His name is almost sure to come up at our house if we start talking food, so let me tell you that this guy has taught us all to avoid meat, to eat more plant-based foods than animal-based foods, and to avoid refined sugar and white flour almost completely. I'm not at all strict with it (I am secretly super happy when someone gives me desserts and I feel like I have to eat it to be polite) but in general I'm loving having so many healthy things available. Waking up to a green smoothie every single day (aka salad in a glass for those unfamiliar with putting spinach in your blender) is quite the switch from my limited diet in Paraguay where the healthiest things I ate were bananas and mangos. I'm so thankful my mom has helped all of us eat like this. However, we still find ourselves hankering for something sweet and substantial, so I must share my latest gluten-free, sugar-free chocolate findings. They are delicious, actually. You'll never believe there's no sugar in them. As Christmas comes along and you want to concoct up something delicious but not feel guilty, try these out:

Honey PB No-Bake Chocolate Cookies by Rita Bigham (an awesome lady in our ward who has some excellent cookbooks!)

1/2 cup honey
1/4 cup butter
3 tablespoons cocoa
2/3 cup natural peanut butter
2 cups quick oats
2 t vanilla

Boil honey and butter for 1 minute. Stir in cocoa, peanut  butter, oats, and vanilla. Spoon mixture onto waxed paper and divide into 24 mounds.


Cocoa-Date Truffles

1 cup walnuts
10-12 medjool dates
1/4 cup honey
1/4 cup cocoa powder

Process in a food processor until smooth. You can add coconut flakes, vanilla, sunflower seeds, almonds, raisins, etc. Form into truffle-size balls and enjoy.  If you know anyone who only eats raw food, this is perfect for them, too!

103 Things I'm Grateful For

It's 10:30 p.m. It's my goal to go to bed at this time. But I don't feel like it. And I don't have to, because I'm not a missionary anymore. So, I figured I'd ramble on my blog and put my feelings out there for all the world and my future posterity.

Tomorrow I'm speaking on gratitude in two different congregations, in two different languages (in the young single adult branch and the Spanish branch). I've been working on my talk during every spare moment of the day.

MAN. I am so grateful. If I had to sum up my feelings about life right now it would be, "Wow. I have so much to be grateful for. I'm confused about life and what I should do and what's going to happen in my future, but I'm so grateful for how life's going anyway."

A year ago, I was in Piribebuy, Paraguay. I was training a brand new sister missionary from Peru. She, nor any of Paraguay, knew what Thanksgiving is. I had to recognize it and celebrate it on my own. It was a scorching hot time of year. But at least I managed to make mashed potatoes that day. I also remember working on a project during all my spare time (hahaha! There IS no spare time on your mission), it was called la Lista de Bendiciones.

This is a picture of the original list that I still have. 103 things that I was grateful for last year. I would have written more if I had found more time. 

Here are a few of the things I wrote: 

• I'm a missionary!
• I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ!
• I was baptized when I was 8 by my dad!
• I understand the purpose of life.
• I wasn't born during the apostasy. 
• I am female.
• I was homeschooled.
• I wasn't raised watching TV.
• My mom taught me to cook, sew, save money, work hard.
• My grandparents, parents, and brother served missions.
• Hope is going on a mission!
• Carrie (my sister) got married in the temple.
• I have great friends who write me letters.
• I have great zone leaders.
• I went to JERUSALEM!
• I got admitted to BYU!
• I have had great bishops.
• I have always been able to run.
• I dated wonderful, inspiring boys.
• I didn't get kidnapped, robbed, or killed in Africa.
• Dad built me a milk parlor.
• I had the cutest goats.
• I can read.
• I know English.
• I haven't missed an hour of missionary work due to sickness.
• I have contacts. Changed the world.
• My whole family is supportive of me serving a mission.
• My family doesn't eat junk food.
• I have been protected from many a near-death experience.
• I have great memories of dad with ice cream.
• Mom did cool science experiments with us. 
• I have not gotten dengue despite hundreds of mosquito bites. 
• Churches in the U.S. have air conditioning. 
• I have never had to bear seeing my dad or brothers drunk.
• I have never worried my parents would divorce.
• I have never been addicted to anything harmful.
• I got to be companions with Hermana Greer twice.
• I grew up in an ambitious society. 

And the list goes on. But really, tonight as I stay up "late" there are plenty of things I could complain about. But there are about 45 times as many things that I can be grateful for. And the thing I'm grateful for most of all....

the thing that tops the many good experiences and comforts and tender mercies and close calls...

the blessing I want to thank God for more than anything tonight....

is my knowledge of the restored gospel. I wish I could be more funny or witty or entertaining or new.....but it's the truth. Tonight I'm overwhelmed with gratitude that I understand life, that I know how to find peace, that I can be hopeful about the future no matter what..... thanks to the sweet knowledge of Jesus Christ and His gospel that has been restored to it's fullness. Oh I know it's true. It's the reason why I am still grateful for the way life is, as uncertain as the future may be. It's the mother of so many of the other blessings I wrote down last year, and to so many of the blessings I will be adding to that very un-uncomplete list of 103 things. 

Mi mas profunda gratitud es hacia mi Salvador.



P.S. Apparently I was feeling very similar exactly two years ago this very same day. Click here for a Thanksgiving video and blog post. And here to see how my gratitude list sure changed from the one I made during my mission.